avatars-love-399139   Disappointed? Really, really angry? Your partner failed your expectations, failed to do the right thing, failed you.

How do you express your feelings without coming across as accusing or criticizing?

First state how you feel using an “I” statement. e.g. “I am disappointed.”

Then go on to describe the behavior that occurred with that feeling e.g. “I am disappointed that you spent the entire time at the party talking with another person and paid no attention to me.”

Notice, there are no judgmental words in this statement–just a pure description of the event and behavior.

Now stop. Do not say anything else. It is now up to your partner to reply and rectify the situation.  When you have stated your feelings in this way, your partner is much less likely to get defensive and give a defensive reply.

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