Whether you want to meet someone new or want to ignite a spark in your current relationship, try flirting.
Flirting begins with a smile and a glance. If the other person is interested, he/she will return the glance and hold the gaze. Next comes preening–touching your body parts you feel are particularly attractive, such as stroking your hair. Then lean forward and adopt an open posture, with arms uncrossed, to indicate interest in the other person. At this point the two of you are engaging in mutual eye contact and are beginning to mirror each other’s movements. For example, if you put your hand on the arm of a chair, you will see the other person do the same. Then comes the casual touch–you might quickly touch your partner’s arm or leg. At that point, the signal is all systems go. Of course, either of you can stop the flirtation at any of these stages. But a lot of flirting behavior is done unconsciously so it is difficult to monitor. And, it is not what the two of you are talking about that establishes the attraction–it is what the two of you are doing. –Beverly B. Palmer, Ph.D. as reported in AOL Health (http://www.aolhealth.com/healthyliving/feature/_a/psychology-ofattraction/20081119125909990001)
Before you click on the arrow of this video, do you see three vases or do you see two people talking?
Now click on the arrow.
In love it is all about how you see yourself and how you see the other person.
How You See Your Partner
Is your perception of your partner preventing you from fully loving? And is your partner’s perception of you preventing him/her from fully loving you?
After being together for many years, we start to see only one part of our partner–and sometimes it is a part that really annoys us. “You are always judging what I say” or “You should know what I need without my having to tell you,” you may be thinking. Maybe your partner sometimes does accept what you are saying without judging it. Or maybe expecting your partner to read your mind is unreasonable. Yet, we tend to see only the behavior that annoys us.
To free yourself from limited perceptions of your partner, try writing down some of the behaviors that your partner seems to frequently exhibit. Then, next to each behavior, write a behavior that is the opposite of that behavior. For example, if you wrote, “My partner is a slob” you could write, next to it, “Sometimes my partner cleans up his/her messes.”
When we try to see the totality of our partner instead of just the part that annoys us, we are opening up to loving our partner more fully.